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Well… It’s Friday again, and you know what that means boys and girls? Abay’s food for thought!! (Yay!!!) And since I’ve been struggling through this Lentern season as a pseudo-vegetarian, it seems only fitting that this week’s discussion is packed with some meaty deliciousness. (Drools….Mmmmmm… Meat) I must say: Steak done to a medium broil is quite tasty, especially with grilled onions and some mashed potatoes on the side… oh and Fried Chicken with a little dab of hot sauce… and what about lasagna? My mother’s home cooked lasagna has to be the best dished prepared by … uhh… sorry, what was our topic about again? (Looks at header)

 Oh, right! Can Men and Women be ‘Just Friends’

It's strictly platonic, I swear!

It's strictly platonic, I swear!

The relationship between men and women has been a premise milked throughout the years by our Hollywood overlords and yet we can never get enough of it. Whether it is the comical strive towards a budding romance by two mismatched people or the struggling platonic relationship between two people so attracted to each other that it makes the entire effort pointless – especially since, almost always, they end up porking together by the end of the movie. In the movie “When Harry Met Sally” (imdb : When Harry Met Sally) the latter is exactly the concept this movie portrays. But regardless what you think of the movie, Harry does bring up a good point in the following clip:


Men and Women Can Not be friends because the sex thing always gets in the way!

Is this really true? I’ve had quite a few female friends and I must say that I’m not interested in them in any way. I swear, well I mean sure I’ve thought about it once… or twice… But that was it…and it was all in the past….  Wait, what about… uh…. And… what about….?? Ok.. Nevermind that, BUT… I have had female friends that I’ve never been attracted to and never once thought of them in any other way than just friends- what about them?!?! Ha! In your face Billy Crystal! But wait…


My friend Dre (See: Dre’s Blog), told me something that was probably the most insightful thing that I have ever learned while in undergrad. He said “Men and women can not be good friends without one liking the other at some point in time.” And this, I think is right on the money! What this means is that if you have any friends of the opposite sex that you’ve never had a crush on, or never liked in any way more than friendship, chances are, they have had some sort of feelings for you beyond friendship. And sure, these feelings pass or are suppressed eventually, but it begs the question. “Is this really a platonic friendship?” And I’d have to go with “No.” Even if you have had these feelings for your ‘friend’ the ‘what-if’ factor ALWAYS comes up and bites you. And sure, there may be a rare case, here and there, where this does not happen, like when you are a child or when you are extremely old, or after you two have already slept together but these are the exceptions – not the rule.


One day, I overheard a Martian (Kleeborp) and a Venusian (Lucianna) having a conversation. And it went something like this:

Kleeborp: Hi, it’s a nice day we are having today isn’t it? I’m Kleeborp.
Lucianna: Yeah, sorry I have a boyfriend. [End of conversation]

Kleeborp then goes to his friend Marchio (Also Martian) and they have the following conversation:

Kleeborp: Yo, I saw this Venusian today and she was Smoking Hot!! Kind of a bizzle tho.
Marchio: I feel you Martian… but whatever, Venusians are only good for one thing anyway…
Both: Blorping!!! (High sevens each other) 

Lucianna also speaks with her friend Lunara (Also from Venus).

Lucianna: You wouldn’t believe the nerve of some Martians. I saw this Martian today, kind of cute, but I know he only wanted one thing.
Lunara: I hear you sister. Martians can be such pigs!
Lucianna: Yeah! I mean, do I look like a Uranian??!!
Both: HA HA HA!

The point here is that even if the sex thing is unspoken, it is an understood concept that lingers in every heterosexual Male-Female relationship. And once it exists, men and women can not be just friends, unless of course they are friends who have sex. But that’s a topic for another day.

What do you think?

Disclaimer: I was told that “When Harry Met Sally” is a good movie by a female acquaintance, because I am too much of a manly man to watch such things!

 In short, yes. In Long…… Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

Let the Celebration Begin!!!!

Ok, so after much field research (*wink wink*), I have come to the conclusion that the above statement is indeed fact. However, it should be noted that not all Trini girls can in fact wine, and not all non – Trinis can’t.  But before I jump into my full analysis of the subject, let me take a moment to explain the concept.

By wine, I am not referring to the alcoholic beverage often made by fermented fruits and berries. The term wining or to wine may be defined as the gyration of the waist and hips in a provocative manner usually in tempo with accompanying music.  Wining, also known as bubblin’, flexin’, bess dance, jook and freakum dancing, can also be used as a measure of value for teens and adolescents. Observe: the teenage male (sometimes the adult male – but this is totally another story altogether) uses the wine concept to gauge the success of a given event or party. For example, Derrick says, “Boy!!! This party was wicked (see: amazing) – I get ‘bout 10 flex (see: wine) or Michael says, “Steupsssss… this party buss (see: lame), is only level brace I getting (see: rejection from wine)”. When a wine is purposely withheld from an individual, whether with malicious intent or simply because of lack of attraction/interest, the pursuer of the wine often feels a sense of dejection and sometimes takes reticent characteristics (See: Paco). Also, if the wine is not up to par, it is sometimes preferable to refrain from such acts (See: walk off mid-dance or pretend one’s phone is ringing). These tactics are used by both the male and the female winer.

In my travels, I have had the fortune/misfortune to experience wines from many different cultures. And I have deduced that cultures heavily influenced by African and Latin customs usually produce the most effective winer. With that being said, considering the history of Trinidad and Tobago and its proximity to South America, I was not too surprised when I made my aforementioned diagnosis. Runners-up to this prestigious award include Bajans, Jamaicans, Bahamians, Nigerians and Brazillians. But it should also be noted that while living in the US, I have noticed a very unique phenomenon. Some Americans can in fact wine quite well, whereas others are surprisingly horrible – yet they wine at very similar frequency distributions.

Hmmm. So this begs the question, “Can USA girls wine?” Where I reply, “I don’t know. It depends”

So what do you think? Feel free to vote and voice your opinions.

– Abay

PS. Please note that when I say a good wine, I am implying in-time with the accompanying music.


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